Letters from a Facebook Prison: Facebook Dissection...when I get to it...

I ain't drunk, but I'm drinkin'...

...and I am stoned, so I don't know how this will turn out. I mean, I made four typing mistakes in the first semi-sentence, alone. That's too much work for some old retired asshole like me. So, if that continues, I won't be at this long. Mauybe wjat I shojuld do is just leave the mistakes in, like that, so you can show your kids what not to be when they grow up. Nope, that offends my delicate sensibilities along with my ego, so that's out.

This puts me in a bit of a quandary. I mean, when I'm stoned, I get very yammery, always good when you're blogging. On the other hand, it annoys me to no end when I make typos and then have to correct them. Oh, sure, sure, I could just keep typing, ignore the errors, and come back tomorrow or when I'm done with a particular post...but, truthfully (why would I lie?) I can't do that. The errors just keep eating at me...and I end up having to correct them. I guess we'll see what happens.

It's not widely known, but I've never tried Indian food.

I've wanted to for a long time. There are lots of Indians and Pakistanis around here, so there are lots of their restaurants around, too, small to big, but, somehow, I've never gotten into one. It's sad, really. I've never tasted a curry, for example. You may be axing yourself right about now, "What does this have to do with Facebook, ace?" "Nothing," would be my answer, were you to actually pose that question to me. I told you I yammer when I'm stoned, and I've been smoking off and on...mostly on...since about five this afternoon, so damned near anything might come out of my fingers.

Speaking of fingers, lots of Indians eat with their fingers. (They aren't the only ones who eat that way, lots of third world countries' people eat with their fingers, but we happen to be talking about Indian food at the moment. Why don't you fucking pay attention? How would that be?) Yeah...you can fuck that shit, as far as I'm concerned. I don't like eating with my fingers. Sammiches are usually ok, unless they are all juicy and leaky. Hamburgers and hot dogs, same thing. If they don't drip and get sloppy, if all I have to do is hold onto the bun, we're good. Other than that, knife and fork, please. Yes, yes, yes...Jesus... I DO eat chicken with a knife an fork. I often eat pizza that way, too, depending on how greazy and cheese-sloppy it is. If I can just grab a dry piece of crust, that works for fingering. (Jesus, that's a fucked up sentence. Oh, well, you didn't pay to read this stupid shit. It doesn't have to be good.)

But, if anyone thinks I'm going to eat rice with a bunch or sloppy shit on it, or grab hunks of meat or veggies or ANYTHING with my fingers, they have another think coming. Fuck that. Ain't gonna happen, not here, not in India (where I would dearly love to go.) Not anywhere.